Monday, February 3, 2014

When the mind starts to wonder

Hello lovelies!

I've been reading a book for the past few weeks, and it has had me thinking about a lot. This is book is titled "Night train to Lisbon". There is a motion picture of this book, but I have not watched it (yet). I have to say, I have never been impacted by a book like this! It has made me think about life, and decisions and everything that we don't usually stand still and think about thoroughly. As usual, whenever I feel like reading, I like to go to the library. It's peaceful, and the only time someone disturbs me is when they are giving me a little hint that they are about to close. Today I decided to sit at the big table on the ground floor, where people come to read the newspaper for a few minutes and then leave. I like sitting there sometimes, because I can see the movement outside, and there is art all around to admire. Once in a while someone comes by and plays the piano (which is always an added bonus). The thought that went through my head today was that of the afterlife, what happens once you've passed on. Now I know this is a sensitive subject, as is religion and politics. And I have wondered about this a few times before, but this time I thought so deep that I ended up making myself nervous. What happens after death? I know that the body decays and all that, but is that just it? The soul lingers if you have unfinished business? You reincarnate into an animal? What happens? This is what kept going through my mind. "There has to be something else", I kept saying. I can feel myself getting way over my head with this, and I probably am. There was a line, a quote, in the book that struck me, and I admired it more that I expected I would. "Life is not what we live; it is what we imagine we are living." I was rendered speechless for a moment when I read this one simple line. I literally stopped reading, and thought about it. Everyone knows that life is what you make of it, and that it isn't always fair, or easy. I know I wish for better things, and I have my regrets, and this is part of what made me the person I am today. So do others, and we still manage to move on. Now, the reason why I got nervous when thinking about this may be silly to some. I can't imagine passing on, and waking up as someone new (as in reincarnation). Just having to go through all of this again, but as a different person, frightens me. And than comes the question, why are we living if we are dying? Eventually everyone dies, and that is a fact. That can't be changed. But is it really worth going through years of school, years of a job we probably won't like at all, and than to become old and slowly pass away? I know how all this sounds. When I read this back to check for spelling errors, I'm going to think I'm crazy for writing this. It is a subject that can go so deeply into discussion, and never come to a conclusion. The thing is, I don't want to look back at my life when I'm 80 years old, and see more regrets than accomplishments. All the times that fear has held me back from doing something I knew would have been amazing. I am still young, and I have the time now to do everything I want to do, but what if I don't? I guess what I'm trying to say is that life is a ridiculously difficult thing, and we need to cherish it. You never know when it may be your last day. I just hope that when the time comes, we can feel like there has been joy and appreciation for the things we have done, and hopefully have left a mark on someone. This is our life, after all. We only get one, so we better make it worth it.

Alright, I'm going to stop here before my mind starts to wander again into something just as crazy as this. I hope I haven't offended anyone, or made a point that was regarded as pointless. I just wanted to get it out there, share what went through my mind today. It may not be important to some, but it is to me. So..

Laugh till your belly hurts, love with abundance, and live like there is no tomorrow!
Nini

P.s. We all see those quotes on social media, those philosophical notes that everyone likes and shares. Well, one that I believe in is "Believe in yourself, and always listen to your gut". I probably just made that up, or mashed two different things together, but you get my point. What feels right, will become right. Patience is key!