Hello my lovelies!
It's been a while since I last posted. Not much has happened, besides the fact that I spent a weekend with family. It was great being around familiar faces. Family is always the best thing when life isn't going so well. I'm still on the job hunt. A few days ago I went to a department of the congregation that specializes in jobs and education. They said they would try and help me. They looked at my resume, and gave me a look I honestly don't enjoy seeing. I got a call the next day from one of the people that works there, asking if I would be interested in a job at Burger King. I'm going to be honest and say exactly what was going through my mind at that point. At 24, it would be degrading to me to get a job in a fast food chain. I wanted so bad to tell the man that he must be stupid to think that I would want to work with a bunch of 16 year old flipping burgers and handing people fries. Yeah, I may sound ridiculous to some, but this is how I felt, and I still feel. It got me thinking that, based on my resume, that I would have to get a job that I would probably hate. I'm not a super social person, and prefer to work behind the curtains. I guess dreaming about having an easy life in Holland will remain a dream.
Life isn't easy, and many people have told me that. I just wish I had believed them. I'm gonna say something now that many people have also thought of, and that is: If I knew then what I know now, I would have done so many things differently. But what has been done, can't be undone. It is up to me to face reality, and accept the consequences. I sometimes wish I could go home, and figure it out. But I can't go home, because my parents want me to try my hardest. It sucks, that's all. It just sucks. On the bright side though, I know that I'm not alone, and I have my family here to help me when things get a little crazy. I guess what I want to say is be honest with yourself, and face reality, accept your flaws. The past is the past. You can't do anything about it now, you can only change what is about to happen in the future. If you really want something, I say go for it. Don't dwell on your past problems. They will eventually come back to haunt you ,but give it the cold shoulder. Just push through, and it will all be fine in the end.
Love each other, support each other, and don't be afraid to be yourself!