Thursday, December 12, 2013

This is life

Hello my lovelies!

I haven't written anything for a long time, because I had to clear my head. Not much has been happening. I'm still looking for a job, and I have been travelling a little. I went to Tilburg, and visited a friend. It was fun, and I was hoping I could go again, but she decided to go home for the holidays. It sucks. It is a custom everywhere to go home for the holidays. I can't go, because my parents and me made an agreement. Supposedly if I stick it out through the next few week, that I will get accustomed to living here much faster. Of course I have homesickness, but I have to push through it. I know that everything will be okay. I'm not the only one who is staying. I always have to tell myself that. I'm not the only one. It does give a sense of reassurance sometimes when I'm feeling a little icky. I can't say that it has been a great couple of weeks, but it wasn't bad either. December is always a busy month, for everyone, with all the christmas shopping and vacations planned, and people coming over. It sucks for me, because it means that I don't get to see my family as often as I'd like. However, it does give me the time to schedule out my days, and try to look at the bright side of things. Even though I don't have much to do, I try to fill my days a little. One thing I started doing more is reading. I love going to the library with a good book, and just relax. It keeps me sane, oddly enough. Usually I wouldn't see myself reading anything outside of the house. But this is something I think I will be doing more often. I'm just rambling. I don't have much to tell. I just wanted to say that even when things don't look so good, remember that tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to try out new things and face whatever it is that scares you (I don't mean like phobia scary, but the little things - one step at a time). Alright, before I keep typing non-sense, I'm gonna go ahead and sign out. I'll be watching some series. At the moment the mentalist is my go to series. It keeps me occupied for some time, and makes the time go by a little faster.

Alright my darlings,
Be kind to one another, and don't be afraid to be yourself!

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Dreaming is free

Hello my lovelies!

It's been a while since I last posted. Not much has happened, besides the fact that I spent a weekend with family. It was great being around familiar faces. Family is always the best thing when life isn't going so well. I'm still on the job hunt. A few days ago I went to a department of the congregation that specializes in jobs and education. They said they would try and help me. They looked at my resume, and gave me a look I honestly don't enjoy seeing. I got a call the next day from one of the people that works there, asking if I would be interested in a job at Burger King. I'm going to be honest and say exactly what was going through my mind at that point. At 24, it would be degrading to me to get a job in a fast food chain. I wanted so bad to tell the man that he must be stupid to think that I would want to work with a bunch of 16 year old flipping burgers and handing people fries. Yeah, I may sound ridiculous to some, but this is how I felt, and I still feel. It got me thinking that, based on my resume, that I would have to get a job that I would probably hate. I'm not a super social person, and prefer to work behind the curtains. I guess dreaming about having an easy life in Holland will remain a dream.

Life isn't easy, and many people have told me that. I just wish I had believed them. I'm gonna say something now that many people have also thought of, and that is: If I knew then what I know now, I would have done so many things differently. But what has been done, can't be undone. It is up to me to face reality, and accept the consequences. I sometimes wish I could go home, and figure it out. But I can't go home, because my parents want me to try my hardest. It sucks, that's all. It just sucks. On the bright side though, I know that I'm not alone, and I have my family here to help me when things get a little crazy. I guess what I want to say is be honest with yourself, and face reality, accept your flaws. The past is the past. You can't do anything about it now, you can only change what is about to happen in the future. If you really want something, I say go for it. Don't dwell on your past problems. They will eventually come back to haunt you ,but give it the cold shoulder. Just push through, and it will all be fine in the end.

Love each other, support each other, and don't be afraid to be yourself!
Nini

Monday, November 11, 2013

Just another day in Holland

Hello my darlings!

As you all know, I recently moved to Holland. It has been a journey. I am living here for about 3 months, and I have to say I have learned a lot. More than I have in the past 3 years in my hometown of Curacao. Yep, that's right. I'm from Curacao, a tiny island right along the border of Venezuela, and next to Aruba. Everyone knows Aruba, right? Well, my life here in Holland is nothing compared to that in Curacao. I have discovered that it is incredibly hard to get a job. In Curacao, it is well known for people to get jobs "via via". What I mean by that is that one way or another, with the help of family or friends, you get a job somewhere. But in Holland, holy crap! Before I can tell you about this endless job hunt, I have to tell my story first.

I am 24 years old. Now, whenever people hear my age, they automatically assume that I finished my school and have a degree and that everything is perfect and no problems. But, sadly enough, it is not so. After high school I attended the University of the Netherlands Antilles. I did Social Work for a year, but due to certain incidents I had to drop out. It was a good study, but knowing the economy of Curacao, and the future I would have as a social worker, it wouldn't be worth it. Unfortunately, a social worker in Curacao isn't valued as much as it should be. I would have a crappy job, with a crappy paycheck every month, and I would barely be able to live off of it. So, I changed study. I went onto doing something completely different, and I'm not going to lie, I wish I had been smarter about my choice. I went on to study Fiscal Law and Economics. I know, I know. Wth is wrong with you? It is definitely a huge change, and the two courses have nothing in common. Mainly, the reason why I chose for this study, was because there was a guaranteed job with good pay at the end of it. This went to my head, and instead of understanding after the first year that it wasn't going to end well, I went on and ended up throwing 3 years of my life away with it. I feel horrible just mentioning it. Do you know what that means? Three years of Fiscal Law and Economics, plus the one year of Social Work. I'm sitting here just sighing, and shaking my head. Stupid me! Wouldn't you agree? Yes, stupid me! Now, let's get back to the Holland job hunt experience.

So, apparently in Holland it is required for anyone above the age of, oh, let's say 20, to have a degree. Or at least something of a degree. Now, here is where my problem comes in. I am 24, and I don't have a degree. I have discovered that for everything, literally everything, even working in a store selling shoes, you need to have a degree. What is so difficult about selling shoes, and clothing?! I did it in Curacao, and I didn't need a degree for that. Anyway, I was hopeful that a job agency would be able to help me. I thought wrong. I don't think I have ever felt so frustrated in my life! I went to at least 3 agencies. Each and every one of them said that they would either try to help me, or that they could do nothing for me. I got home so frustrated and pissed. I think I flipped out on my mom, or whoever. After days of walking into stores, and asking if they needed help, and passing by the agencies, even sitting through an entire info-session at a catering business, still nothing. I guess what I want to say is that Holland sucks when it comes to giving people jobs. I know it has only been 3 months, but there will come a day where I will lose my mind, and start telling everyone off. What a bunch of poop. Just thinking about it makes me want to jump on a plane and leave everything behind. Whoever said Holland was the land of opportunity, obviously wasn't 24 and jobless. Oh well, it happens. Life is a bitch. We all come to face these kinds of issues sometime in our lives. I guess that is why we should enjoy the good days, where we don't have to think about school, or jobs, or people telling you negative things. The world is a beautiful place, with its dark corners here and there. I guess what I'm trying to say it, no matter how ugly the days, remember that the sun shines no matter what. The clouds may cover it, but it is always there, always shining.

Smile with love in your heart, and peace in your mind
Nini

P.S., I would like to remind my readers that these are my experiences. It may not happen to you. Stay positive, and good things will come (eventually). Don;t dwell on the days when everything feels like it's crashing down on you. Just hold on tight, and enjoy the ride. There will be bumps and little obstacles, but at the end it will all have been worth it/

Friday, November 8, 2013

A new beginning?

Hello everyone! My name is Stephanie, or Nini for short. I have always been fascinated by people's ideas and how they share them in blogs. I had a talk with my dad the other day, and he convinced me that it would be a great thing to start a blog myself. I come from a very artistic and literal family, and I love writing poetry. Now, I know how that sounds. Everyone says they love writing poetry, and being all Taylor Swift, sitting on her bed and making up crap that sounds good. In fact, I don't do any of that. My poetry, or as I like to call them "word attacks", usually comes late at night, right before I feel myself drift off. It hits like a brick, no joke. It start with a sentence, just a short simple sentence, and it progresses into something much bigger.

But anyway, I'm not here to write about my poetry. I'm  here to write about life. I recently moved to the Netherlands. Huge step! I mean HUGE! I always wanted to move to a bigger country, and experience a whole new world (sounding kind of Disney movie there :p). What I expected was nowhere near what hit me when I finally settled. I don't even remember my first thought. It was insane, just the fact that I finally made it. This is an experience and a journey that I want to share with everyone. I know the feeling of nervousness, not wanting to take the leap because home is comfort. I totally get it. And that's why I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of taking the leap. And I hope that I can somehow bring courage to those who have always wanted, but never had the guts to just take the chance. I didn't have the guts either, but once I took the leap, I was happy and amazed by what I was capable of. It won't be an easy step, but remember that you are not the only one. There are tons of people going through the same thing. We are all human, and we must be there for each other.

Love & Support!
Nini